a notebook for coping

Here are some notebook pages done at a time of extreme grief. I didn't even know I was functioning at the time. A lot of the colour is just about giving my hands something to do. At the time I was reading The Sacred in Contemporary Haiku by Robert Epstein, a book with more than its fair share of glimmering haiku. If you can read my writing you will see references to it and contemplations about what is sacred. Forgive the spelling, it was never my forte, no matter how hard I worked, and these were never meant to be published in this form, but I think it is always hopeful to see the mess of other people's minds and the various ways that they cope. Journalling is useful, even when its messy.

I've transcribed some of the haiku, good and yawn-worthy, for your reading ease, since some of you will have trouble reading a single one. This was the most interesting thing revisiting this notebook that, by default and despite the turmoil, art was still being made.

stars
all at one
with the village lights

though we thought it dead
it opened
the sunflower

the sound
of the fridge humming
nothing else

dawn
colours the mist
his time of day

pine song
a small boy
throws cones


writing longing
into the sand
rising tide

poetry
each autumn leaf
becomes mulch

beach stones
balancing
aeons

alyssum scent
I learn to be
more present

easter Sunday
the wild animation
of children's eyes

autumn colours
round this bend
round that
gasping

autumn
how much of the old man
is in his walking stick

with the post
the sweet honey scent
of alyssum

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